


words are hard, especially when you kinda can't talk (and your translator is less than pleasant)

by moonsamurai



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Chaos, Crack, Gen, Shenanigans, Sign Language, translation shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:48:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24936331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonsamurai/pseuds/moonsamurai
Summary: Wild woke up last night unable to speak (for some odd reason) and has to try and rely on sign language. Unfortunately, his sign language is different from the ones the others are used to.Twilight is the only who can read it (because Wolfie? They're not quite sure) but when one person has control over what you're saying, it's... probably not going to go well.Case in point.
Relationships: Twilight & Wild (Linked Universe)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 285





	words are hard, especially when you kinda can't talk (and your translator is less than pleasant)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [XRaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/XRaves/gifts).



> Happy exchange Ri(ley)! Hope you like it :D

"...So you're telling me you can't talk," Twilight started slowly, mulling over their recent discovery in his mind. 

_"That's what I'm saying, yes,"_ Wild signed, an irritated expression on his face. _"I don't know why, I just woke up like this."_

"Weird. Do you think it was Dark Link who did this?" Twilight muttered, rubbing his temples. "Maybe he just wanted to mess with us for a bit."

Wild rolled his eyes and fell back on the ground. _"Whatever it is, I hate it."_

"Same here."

_"You're not the one with the inability to talk!"_

"I'm the one trying to learn how to reread your sign again!"

The younger hero snorted and closed his eyes. _"You're doing pretty well, aren't you?"_

"I sure am."

_"Well, good. Anyways, it's your turn to stay up on watch. Good night."_

"I hope you have the ability to talk in the morning."

_"I hope so too. Now go, bother someone else that's awake."_ Wild threw the blanket over himself and turned away. Twilight gave a small smile and turned away. 

"Okay, okay, good night."

* * *

Their hopes were all for naught when Wild woke up early. 

Twilight was still up, refusing to wake anyone else up when he was still up and active. 

"Can you talk?" he asked, glancing over at Wild, who shook his head with a level of annoyance. 

_"No, I tried to say something earlier. It wasn't working."_

The ranch hand hummed quietly, looking back at the fire. "Well, I mean... it could be worse."

Wild poked Twilight hard, a deadpan expression on his face. _"How could this be any worse."_

"If we didn't understand sign language, none of us could actually understand you," Twilight pointed out, patting the spot next to him as a gesture to sit down. "Which do you prefer?"

_"...I hate how you're right."_ Wild huffed and accepted Twilight's invitation, plopping down next to the older hero. 

"I know, I know, you've told me before," Twilight laughed cheekily, ruffling Wild's hair. "I'm mostly right when it comes to you."

_"Mostly."_

"Mostly."

Wild smirked and stood up again, unhooking his Sheikah Slate and scrolling through silently. (Not that he could be loud, considering he couldn't use his voice at the moment.)

"Anyways. Do you think the others can read sign language?" Twilight asked. Wild looked back, his expression shifting from thoughtful to amusement. He shrugged and shook his head lightly. 

Twilight closed his eyes with a smile. "Well, I guess we'll find out when the time comes."

* * *

_Indeed_ , they found out. 

"So you're saying," Legend began, waving his arm at Wild, who sat next to Twilight with an almost frustrated expression. "You can't talk?!"

"Yeah."

_"Yes, how many goddamn times do we need to repeat it?!"_ Wild signed quickly, punctuating his sentence with an exasperated sigh. _"I can't physically talk, but I can sign."_

Legend, along with everyone else but Twilight, stared at Wild in confusion. 

"...What?" 

"I can read sign language but the way Wild is signing is unfamiliar to me," Time commented, furrowing his brows. "Can someone translate...?"

Twilight raised a hand quietly. "He says that he can't physically talk but he can sign, as you can tell," he said, pointing at Wild, who nodded. 

"Weird. Why can't he talk all of a sudden?" Wind asked, tapping his chin. "Was it Dark Link's fault, or does Wild just stop talking sometimes?" 

"We discussed this earlier, and we can't tell? I'm leaning towards the latter option, but... I can't say for sure."

_"If it's Dark Link, I call kicking his ass first."_

"We already decided Time gets the privilege of first blood!"

_"Yeah, but Dark Link didn't do this kind of shit to him!"_

"That's a fair point, but Dark Link did _way_ worse to him, like try and murder him in a room with a dead tree!"

_"How is that WORSE?!"_

"You didn't even talk beforehand, I'm pretty sure killing someone in a dungeon is worse than shutting you up for a day or two."

_"You're implying that this is gonna wear off soon."_

"I sure hope it does-"

"Would you two stop your pointless arguing and figure out what to do next?!" Warriors interjected, glaring at Wild and Twilight, who both glared back. 

"And... what were you saying about me and Dark Link?" Time raised an eyebrow, to which Twilight tried to back away from. 

"Not much, just- it's nothing."

_"We promise it's nothing bad-"_

"He can't read your sign."

_"Oh yeah."_

Time's left eyebrow joined his right. 

"Anyways. I think I'll just act as a translator for a couple days and... see how it goes," Twilight suggested, looking back at Wild. The younger hero shrugged and sighed. 

_"If you have to, then sure."_

"He says yes."

_"That's not what I said, you-"_

"Alright, then it's decided. Twilight, please. Try not to mess with him," Time said, earning an innocent smile from Twilight and an angry (or was that resignation?) huff from Wild. "Wild, please don't try and kill Twilight in the instance he does?"

_"I can't promise anything."_

"He says he doesn't promise anything."

"Well, it's more than I ask for."

With that, the nine heroes gathered up their stuff and set out, intent on getting to the next village as fast as they could. 

They were _intent_ on getting to the next village in Time's world, but of course they somehow got knocked into a portal at the first enemy encounter that day. 

"Where the hell are we?!" Legend exclaimed, sitting up and rubbing his head. 

"This looks somewhat like the Surface," Sky mused, shaking his head and clapping his hands together. "But it's not quite right either."

Wild sat up and observed the surroundings. 

"It's not my Hyrule," Wind announced, jumping up into an upright position. "There's no ocean anywhere here."

_"Nothing on my end,"_ Wild signed to Twilight, who repeated Wild's words to the group. 

"Me neither," Warriors said, brushing dirt from his scarf. "Anyone else?"

"Nope," Four and Twilight chorused, the two of them sharing a quick glance before turning away. 

"Well, maybe... another hero?" Hyrule said nervously, looking around as if someone would pop out of the trees (like Wild had the first time they actually encountered him). 

"I don't think so. Maybe we'll find a clue if we explore," Time said thoughtfully, standing up and patting the dust off of his armor. "Let's get the hell out of here."

_"Please, I don't like the feeling of this place."_

Twilight looked at Wild for a moment. _"What?"_ Wild asked. 

"Nothing. Let's go."

And they set off. Again. 

"This was apparently the Surface," Sky called out as they walked out of the apparent forest they were in. "Faron Woods, everybody."

_"Really bright and cheerful, nothing like some Hyrules we've been to,"_ Wild said with a relieved expression. _"Hopefully the happiness lasts here."_

"Wild says-"

Wild cut Twilight off with a smack on the shoulder. _"You don't need to announce that part."_

"You didn't need to hit me, just say so."

_"I kinda can't get your attention by speaking."_

"While that's a fair point, that doesn't-"

"What did Wild say, anyways?" Sky asked with a smile. "I'd love to hear what Wild has to say."

_"Say that I said it's nice!!"_

"He said to say it's nice-"

_"No, that's not what I mean!!"_ Wild signed harshly, poking Twilight's shoulder. The ranch hand grimaced but didn't comment on the poke, instead brushing Wild's hand off of him. 

"You're the one who said that!"

_"I didn't mean for you to say it that way!"_

"Okay, you two, stop fighting or whatever," Warriors sighed, dragging Wild away from Twilight before things got out of hand. (He was aware that they probably wouldn't start actually fighting, since Wild needed his hands to sign and Twilight wasn't going to actually try and hurt Wild, but he liked being dramatic and adding the flair to situations like this.) "What're you two arguing about anyways?"

_"Twilight needs to translate accurately, dammit!"_

"First, Warriors can't read your sign," Twilight started, earning an eye-roll from Wild, "and you need to say what you want to say so that I can say it _accurately."_

_"Aren't you supposed to be the one who can read my sentences clearly?"_

"You're not exactly making it easy for me."

_"Am I supposed to be sorry?!"_

"Am I supposed to answer that?"

"As amusing as listening to only one side of this conversation is," Time interrupted with his signature Disappointed Dad Glare(tm), "both of you need to stop fighting. C'mon, you're more mature than this."

"Sorry, sorry."

_"What he said."_

"Wild says sorry too."

_"I- okay, sure."_

"He says he's not actually-"

Wild elbowed Twilight and glared at him warningly. _"You need to shut up."_

"You're the one giving me power here."

_"Fuck off!!"_

"...Anyways," Sky said with a short chuckle. "We should probably head on over to Skyloft to restock and get some rest."

_"Aye, aye. Agreed."_

"Any objections?" Legend asked the group. There were none. 

_"Okay, so how do we get to Skyloft?"_

"How do we get there...? Didn't you mention somewhere Skyloft is, uh, in the sky?" Four asked, pointing upwards. "Last I checked, we don't exactly have a way of getting up there."

_"Well, I could use a bomb or two and launch us up there-"_

"Wild, we are not doing that."

"Doing what?" Wind asked curiously. 

_"This."_

After an hour of shouting, fire, explosions, general consensus that Twilight was responsible for this mess, and a whole lot more screaming, Sky finally led the group towards what he called a Bird Statue.

"We are. Never. Letting Wild loose like that. Ever again," Warriors groaned, stumbling and collapsing next to the statue. 

"Oh yeah. That plan of yours was horrible," Twilight hissed at Wild, who rubbed his head with an apologetic expression. 

_"But it could've worked if you cooperated!"_

"Who cooperates with a plan like that that's _not_ you?" 

_"...Fair point."_

"Anyways, Sky," Four wheezed out, slamming his hand on the Bird Statue. Sky nodded and laid a hand on the statue. 

"I'll be back in a bit, just stay here," Sky warned, before an orange light shot out of the ground, wrapped around the statue and Sky, before he himself flew into the sky. He pulled out his sailcloth as he took off.

There was a distant _'don't let Wild set the forest on fire again!'_ but Twilight wasn't sure if that was Sky or his mind speaking.

And just like that, there were eight. 

"...What the hell was that?" Wind said, starstruck. "I want to fly like that!!" 

"That would've made things way easier," Four muttered to himself, ignoring Legend's questioning eyes. 

_"That's awesome, I wish I could do that!"_

"Can't you already do that?"

_"I used to be able to, but they were released, remember? Plus, there was never orange light or an epic sequence of wind and shit whenever I activated Revali's Gale."_

"Ah, right. Thank the goddesses."

_"You're not happy I don't have their powers anymore, or are you not happy there wasn't wind whenever I asked Revali to help?"_

"That you don't have their powers. That means you can't just go and die on me like the self sacrificing idiot you are."

_"I said I was sorry."_

"And my answer is the same, you should be."

"What're you two arguing about this time?" Hyrule asked, slipping into a spot next to Twilight. 

_"We're not arguing! We're discussing a few things passionately,"_ Wild protested, pleading that Twilight would translate his words accurately.

"Wild says we're apparently being passionate."

"What."

_"I didn't say that, damn you!"_

Twilight smirked lightly and nudged Wild with a cheerful expression. "Isn't that right, Wild?"

_"Hell no!"_

"Aw, so you agree with me?"

_"Twilight, you filthy bastard, will you stop?!"_

A surprised laugh escaped Twilight's mouth. "Never."

Hyrule smiled, albeit a little confused, as he had no idea what the hell was happening. 

"Sorry, Hyrule, I'm just messing a little with Wild here."

_"A little?!"_

"Okay fine, a little more than that. But I haven't exactly fucked you over yet."

Hyrule shook his head. "From what I know, you would take any chance to fuck Wild over, considering all of the shit you've had to put up with."

"See, even Hyrule understands."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

_"Yeah, Twilight!"_

"What? You're willing to explain this for me?"

_"Where the hell did you get that idea?!"_

"By all means, go ahead."

_"Fuck you."_

"Love ya too."

Hyrule suppressed a laugh and leaned back. "Anyways, do you think we'll be able to break whatever's on Wild soon? No offense, but having you speak for him is starting to get a little concerning."

_"The moment I can speak again I'm gonna hurt you, Twi."_

"You can try."

_"Oh, I will try, and I'll succeed, damn you."_

"Good luck."

"What's he saying?"

"He's gonna try and kill me."

"Oh. That doesn't sound very pleasant."

"I don't think he wants it to be pleasant, but hell if I know."

_"I can hear you, fucker."_

"I know you can, why else would I be saying this?"

_"I hate you so much."_

"You know that's a lie."

_"Fuck off!!"_

With an angry huff, Wild slapped Twilight's arm, his glare turning dark. 

Twilight chuckled lightly and patted Wild. "There there, it'll get better soon."

_"I'm not a goddamn child."_

"You might as well be."

"Be what?" Hyrule asked, preparing himself to push down whatever burst of laughter they might draw out of him. 

"Be a 'goddamn child.'"

Hyrule snorted, not expecting that answer. "Well, compared to Wind, he's an adult."

"Yes, but compared to Time, we're all children."

"To be fair, he's like a tired dad. I think he's done trying to keep us from blowing up Hyrule."

Twilight choked down a laugh at how accurate the statement was. "I'm pretty sure he was done a long time ago."

"Fair."

"Hey, Wild."

The three of them looked up, only to see Legend, who held a bottle filled with water. 

"I don't know if it's a curse or not, but I think you should try drinking water and see if you can talk," he said, shrugging. "Just checking."

_"I'm pretty sure it's a curse and not a matter of drinking fucking water of all things, but I guess."_

Wild grabbed the bottle and downed it immediately. And apparently he chugged it down too fast, evident when he choked and spit out some of it, sucking in watery breaths as he coughed and laughed sheepishly.

"Ow," he whispered, handing the bottle back to Legend. "Thank you-"

He paused.

They all stopped and stared.

"Are you fucking kidding me," Twilight groaned, slapping a hand over his eye and dragging it down his face. "All we needed was _water."_

"Apparently," Hyrule said, snickering subtly. "That's... kind of sad. What happened?"

"I have... absolutely no idea," Wild decided, glaring at Twilight. "And as I said before... you might want to start running."

"From you?!"

Wild yelled something in his Hylian and tackled Twilight to the ground, kneeing his mentor as hard as he could while snarling all kinds of what were probably swear words. Twilight was just laughing throughout Wild's speech of sorts, struggling lightly before finally pushing Wild off of him. 

"Son of a _bitch,"_ Wild hissed, brushing his hair aside harshly. "I swear to the goddesses, I'm gonna kill you-"

"Like I said before, you can try," Twilight wheezed out, smirking cheerfully. 

"Twilight, you-"

At this point, everyone else had gathered around to see what the hell Wild was doing this time. 

"How'd you get your voice back?" Wind questioned, tilting his head. 

"Water."

"Water? Seriously?"

"Yes, whatever caused Wild to be unable to talk for a day had a simple solution, which was fucking water," Twilight sighed, shaking his head. "It's complete bullshit, and you would think it took more than that, but for some reason, it didn't."

"...Wow."

"Indeed," Wild responded, shrugging helplessly. 

"This- okay, whatever. Let's just... wait for Sky to come back and explain this. Twilight, you're doing it."

"Fine."

"Are you serious."

"Yeah, none of us know _why_ it was _water of all things_ to fix it, but at least he's back to normal...?"

"You're telling me that all of that arguing between you two was pointless?"

"...Pretty much, although Wild didn't say it was arguing, exactly. He said they were passionate conversations."

"I heard that, you bastard!!"

**Author's Note:**

> no, i'm not elaborating what caused Wild to stop talking, because I don't know either :D


End file.
